December Twitter-Splosion

Every day a different prompt, every day a different tale in a Twitter! Here is all of December’s in one shot. A wild collection of humor, morbidity, and whatever else popped into my head.

DECEMBER

It’s been a year!

cowboy bebop finger guns GIF

12/1/2019

Blue sky, an ill wind blew as I soared over the white capped waves. No gull who longed to live ignored such an #omen. I opened my beak and cried out the warning. Squall! The tall ship sailed out of the harbor. Wind tore at my feathers as I fought to warn them. Turn back!#vss365

12/2/2019

“But mama, aren’t we supposed to hoard treasure and stuff?”

In the crystal cave Drhak’raria lifted her head and smiled down at her whelp. “Some dragons do. But you can’t consume gold. Eat your #crystal, dear so you can grow up strong enough to devour other dragons.” #vss365

12/3/2019

Hail fell into the high beams, #rice from the leaden heavens. I pushed the pedal harder.

“Honey, maybe we should pull over?”

“It’s the holidays, we can’t be late!” A second later, the road skidded out from beneath us.#vss365

12/4/2019

Never mess with a kitsune. There’s a reason those vixens have nine tails, it represents their #fickle nature. One minute they lavish you with the deepest love possible. The next their claws rake sufficient to make you wish you were dead!#vss365

12/5/2019

She turned and smiled at him. Not a comforting smile, but one that sent a shiver down his spine. Frozen he could not move. “They call me the sadistic #guru. And you, my foolish trespasser, are about to learn why.” He didn’t see the strike, but he felt it in his liver.#vss365

12/6/2019

“You’re such a nerd.”

“I am a #pixel warrior! I am undefeated! SHIT!”

“Except by a power outage.”#vss365

12/7/2019

Underneath the #amber lights the world shimmered in the rain. A beautiful sheen that lent a magical quality to the city. A place that lay in stillness populated by the bones left behind of a race that failed to adapt. Fate is a cruel bitch.#vss365

12/8/2019

She pads on paws soft as #velvet, silent against the pavement. Making her way through the city no movement escapes her eyes. There is a reason not even a mouse stirs on the Eve, it is her doing. The kiss of death, Holly, the master mouser of all seasons.#vss365

12/9/2019

Save the world, like real life is based on a novel starring a plucky hero. In reality I have as much #sway as a fly landing on a suspension bridge coil while some crazy yahoo standing on the deck cuts it with a chain saw. At least in my vision I have wings. He doesn’t.#vss365

12/10/2019

Light shimmers pierced the darkness of the chamber I have inhabited for what seems an eternity. Vision, a sense I have long forgone in my solitude. Is the light real? Or merely a cruel #mirage, painful to eyes that have not seen in years? Reality seems the illusion.#vss365

12/11/2019

“Heyya, Grandma? Quick, what’s the best way to #curry favor with a demon? Asking for a friend.”

“Why you lookin’ ov’r your shoulder?”

“Ummm … well … I may have opened that trunk you told me never to touch.”

“Then you shit out a luck, child. No one befriends that ‘un.”#vss365

12/12/2019

I stared at the #serpentine stone in my hand, squiggles of bright green seeming to swim, locked in a black sea. Like magic. I focused hard, remembering the tome’s words. The rock shivered, a hundred tiny eyes opened as my minions sprang to life.#vss365

12/13/2019

I flick the blinker on and glance over into the middle lane, waiting to merge. The red Porsche pulls forward, seeing a half car length between me and the van. She wedges the nose of her can in. Blocked. She’s lucky I #vow no vehicular aggression at a hospital driveway!#vss365

12/14/2019

Visions twist and turn to my will. I had always been a #lucid dreamer, shaping to my desires behind closed eyes. What a shock it must have been to see their world change before their eyes when mine were wide open too. Welcome to my twisted reality.#vss365

12/15/2019

Light spreads a #pastel hue into the velvet sky. Another day begins washed out and empty as I wander down the hillside for a visit. The stone cold on my back. The deep cut letters say you’re here. I linger locked in silence, waiting for the comfort of night to fall.#vss365

12/16/2019

“One cannot #wring blood from stone.”

The necromancer folded his hands and smiled. “One can if one possesses the skills and said stone is fossilized bones.” He snapped his fingers and the figures unfolded from the cavern floor. “Foolish mortal.”#vss365

12/17/2019

A stitch in my side. A tiny #sliver of pain nagging, nagging, always nagging! I long to forget, but the constant stab of the thing I cannot remove has become a part of me, driving me to madness as I long to scratch an unreachable itch. A vile memory eroding my sanity.#vss365

12/18/2019

“You will not have the world, sorcerer! Because I have the magical orb!” CRASH! “Shit!”

My companion buried her face. “Real #suave, butterfingers. You do know there was only one of those.”

“Mwhaha! You just paved the way for my victory. Bravo, hero.”#vss365

12/19/2019

I close my eyes and fade away. The pain, the suffering, the bitter rivalry that is what some call the real world. It’s vulgar and empty. I embrace my #virtual world. A place built to hide from the nightmare of reality. A place of healing refuge in the eye of a storm.#vss365

12/20/2019

“Some heroes we are. Stuck in a frickin’ cave! Alright wizard, time to magic us outta here so we can save the world.”

“Hrm, I have a #profound feeling we’ve seriously fucked up.”

“Geh! That better be sarcastic.”

“We have about an hour of air left. Last words?”

“Son of a-”#vss365

12/21/2019

The embers die into a soft cheery #glow framed in the stones. I smile, warmed by the crackle-pop of the flames deep within still eating away. Feast, my friend. Well, the documents said he got the house … he can have what’s left of it. Merry Christmas, asshole!#vss365

12/22/2019

Moonlight cast it glow across the floor, tinged red in time for the holidays. I sit in the easy chair warming myself by the fire, a glass of cognac in hand. Through the broken window the sound of blood dripped down the #icicle my hit man eavesdropped on. How festive.#vss365

12/23/2019

The table creaked under the weight of the largest dish of #pudding the village had ever seen. Narka held her hands high and silence descended. “Today we celebrate our victory! No more will our enemies call us weak. No more shall they speak!” Vengeance in blood pudding.#vss365

12/24/2019

I awoke in the locked room, my arms bound to my body, the odd sound like a #jingle bell tinkling from the hallway. I dared not call out as the white clad orderly peered through the slat, a ring of keys on his belt. What a Christmas present, committed to Bedlam by Father.#vss365

12/25/2019

Curled in my arms, his fur shifted against my cheek with every breath. All the years of his life counted in each tick of the clock. My heart ached to feel his shudder. Midnight chimed, before the last #grace granted Ashenpaw mercy. The bitterest Christmas morning ever.#vss365

12/26/2019

The snow is cold beneath my paws, a sensation I welcome in this new form after the ache of life. I faded from reality and embraced death thinking it would be a numb void. Instead I rise to #find a world of deep feeling. More alive than I was in life, I spread my wings.#vss365

12/27/2019

The world below the surface of the waves, my world. Smooth scales slid by pillars of #coral flashing delicate fronds of tiny creatures, my subjects. Bubbles rose up from the intruders, landwalkers performing their last task. A death wish. Venom filled my fangs.#vss365

12/28/2019

The moon shown over the valley cutting shadows into the fresh snow. My nose caught the scent in the tracks. One of them was injured. In my throat the cry arose, piercing the heavens. Moments later the pack answered in #harmony. The wolf pack’s litany of death.#vss365

12/29/2019

Behind closed eyes everything changes. A #circus of fantastic beasts dance in colorful rings bedecked in finery fit for the highest courts. All those who had vexed me during the day met their judgment by tooth and claw. The next day, I woke to find them simply gone.#vss365

12/30/2019

I swear the moment I walked into my grandparents no one recognized me. It was as if each family member had lived in a #cocoon for the last year, ignoring the hard work I had done. “You look terrible,” grandma said, “should take better care of yourself.”#vss365

12/31/2019

“Hold my beer!” He took a running leap off the roof, poorly executed thanks to the alcohol marinade. The result? A plummet straight down missing the mattress target and striking the trashcans. We clapped as he moaned, cheering, “#Encore!” My brother is a glutton for pain.#vss365

November Twitter-splosion

The collection of Very Short Stories from the #vss365 prompts on Twitter, all in one shot! This month it’s just an array of wild off the cuff craziness. You know, normal for me.

NOVEMBER

11/1/2019

Rumor has it, I got a short #fuse. It’s funny, I guess from their perspective the shit only just hit the fan. Well, in my shoes they’d know better. They’d know the impact of every word they slung my way recklessly. Well, corpses can never hurt anyone, who’s laughing now?#vss365

11/2/2019

I asked my grandpa if our lives were predetermined. He laughed, “Oh child, life’ll try all sort of tricks to keep you inline. Fate’ll #cuff to the wheel, if you let it. Thing is, you still have your hand on the wheel in a world without roads.” Grandpa’s had 8 accidents.#vss365

11/3/2019

Sam closed her eyes. The tedious complaints of the man in line #grated on her nerves. It wasn’t like the cashier could save the world. At last, Sam stepped up to the cashier, whose eyes filled with dread. Sam just smiled, and got a smile back. They savored blessed silence.#vss365

11/4/2019

I gripped the sack tight, this was my first harvest and I didn’t want to drop anything as I climbed through the cavern. The chamber opened up lined with the #crop of crystal shards. I touched a black one, and recalled the legend just as something stole my body. I turned …#vss365

11/5/2019

Amber smiled as she stared right where here friend pointed at. Everything, the whole universe would come into focus, they all told her. Just breathe. She inhaled the smoke and resumed her search for clarity in the resulting #haze. Wasn’t much, but it sure was pretty.#vss365

11/6/2019

The man sat down in my chair and removed his hat. “Just a #trim, please.” I grinned into the reflection of my razor, already she sang to me, hungry for rubies. I placed her fine edge to his throat and gave him the closest shave he’d ever have. Within an inch of his life.#vss365

11/7/2019

Legend says to #tread lightly if you have to go through Mirewood. Of course, legends also say that there are unicorns and little folk. I don’t believe those either. Besides, I brought my rifle … what the … That a horse with a horn? No way, so swuuuucckkkk!#vss365

11/8/2019

“Did you hear, Trudy has a #crush on Dan. That’s so sweet.”

I raised my eyebrows and watched a monster truck roll by, Trudy scowled behind the wheel. “Dude, check your ears. I believe her exact words were ‘I’m going to crush Dan.’ ”#vss365

11/9/2019

Their eyes burned into me as I stood barefoot on the pyre of their scorn. An ember caught on a torch and flared to life, fed by the hunger for my death. It did not matter to them I #spoke the truth. No—it did matter. Their unjust fear delivered me to this grim fate.#vss365

 

11/10/2019

“Welcome to the first transdimensional Convention. Please step forward and pay the #troll.”

“You mean, toll. Right?”

“Oh no, I mean Groont the security troll. Have a good time!”#vss365

11/11/2019

Maximus thought himself an innovative leader able to conquer any nation on the continent. All of that proved true. That was until he decided the continental empire wasn’t large enough, and neglecting to start a navy, he ordered his army to #march over the sea.#vss365

11/12/2019

Things were quiet on that little blue ball floating in space, Loki thought to himself. Perhaps it was time to #crank up the chaos. He snapped his fingers and Fenrir’s chain broke. The gigantic wolf leapt down, his claws raked both man and earth. “That’s more like it.”#vss365

11/13/2019

The #wind speaks to me. Sometimes a whisper bearing the ghosts of the past. Sometimes it screams to me of the ravages of time eroding the world. Sometimes it’s a lover’s caress biding me to be strong in a world that no longer hears the wisdom of the ages. I alone listen.#vss365

11/14/2019

“This is just another walk in the park. You know the #drill, boys.” That’s what I said, but as the sulfur and brimstone engulfed us at the cavern entrance I white-knuckled my spear. Thankfully it wasn’t every day a dragon moved into the neighborhood. “Eviction notice!”#vss365

11/15/2019

This place is all I have ever known. Born behind bars, I’ve heard of this thing called “a lawn”. Sounds nice. The boy points into my cage, his parents drag him to another dog … a whole dog. I limp back into the corner. One day I’ll leave the #pound, if I live long enough.#vss365

11/16/2019

Anubis rubbed his chin as he examined the world. “Things are not going as planned, Sekhmet. I don’t care what Toth says, this #draft of Earth is deeply flawed. The problem is all these humans.” Sekhmet flashed her teeth, “That’s easily solved, get your scale ready.”#vss365

11/17/2019

“That boy has a lot of #pluck. Do you think he’ll save the village?”

“Are you kidding? He’s nothing but a goose for the gods to tenderize. But don’t tell him that. The gods prefer spirited sacrifices. Maybe next years crops will be better, then we can sing his praises.”#vss365

11/18/2019

There was nothing like dancing the #jive with her. The weight of her body capturing the momentum only to twist and turn. He basked in the memories, gnarled fingers stroking the piano keys. Soon now he would see her again, in each other’s arms.#vss365

11/19/2019

Jim sat on the bumper of the car. Karma really was a bitch, he reflected. The sign he’d held, California or #bust, well, he didn’t mean it to be true. The driver that picked him up was still arguing with the cop whose fault the collision was. So much for Sunset Boulevard.#vss365

11/20/2019

“How do you spell his name?”

“Oh my God, please sis, I beg of you, #play nice!”

“I am. Just need his name so I can kill him … in my novel. It lasts longer.”#vss365

11/21/2019

The field glowed beneath the pale sky blossoming with the rising sun framed by the monoliths. They stood, every breath hanging in the air frozen until at last the blackbird greeted the dawn. Her #refrain warmed every heart. No day was promised until she sang.#vss365

11/22/2019

Rod heaved a sigh as he stared at the candle, hardly any wax dripping down the perfect cylinder. Like so many others it ended early. The first #date was always the last. He turned to Annabelle and picked the doll up from the chair. “Guess it’s still just you and me.”#vss365

11/23/2019

Charity heaved a sigh. “You’re asking a lot of me, typically this type of gig isn’t my thing.”

“It’s real simple, all you gotta do is crash this schmuck’s house and scare the spirit of Christmas into him. Any ghost can do it.”

“That’s a lot to #tackle, the guy’s an atheist.”#vss365

11/24/2019

The music wound into my soul, moving me in ways no one ever should be. I don’t have wings, but I flew! All around me the dance floor vibrated with the emotional impact of countless creatures. You’ve never lived until you’ve attended an underworld #rave.#vss365

11/25/2019

“Gah! Seriously? Stop breathing on me. Your breath smells like … like … ”

“The Army of Nabrille? It should, they were tasty.”

“Then eat a #mint, even dragons should have table manners.”#vss365

11/26/2019

Back and forth she wove the shuttle on the #loom blending the threads in a vast tapestry. I stood powerless to stop her as my thread joined others, wrapped in scarlet red and ashen black, blood and death. “Take up your mantle.” Damn the Fates.#vss365

11/27/2019

Under the #lash I serve my master, doing his bidding without question. My claws sullied by the blood of his enemies. That cursed tool is my true master, now in the hands of his sister I turn my claws at her command. The end of his bloody reign is the beginning of hers.#vss365

11/28/2019

My world is locked in darkness. Black so thick it bears fur and breathes. The cave of beginnings. I inhale the void and steel myself. Against the rock I #strike a match. The flame springs to life, a faint circle of revelation. Eyes stare back. The fur no longer imaginary.#vss365

11/29/2019

Jimmy smiled, wouldn’t the family be proud of him for getting the best deal online! This would be perfect for grandpa. He opened the front door and stared in confusion. That was a rather small box. The label read “chihuahua coffin”. What a bad funeral day #slip up!#vss365

11/30/2019

“Master, what do you want me to do with this #part?”

He glanced at the nerve bundled organ in his assistant’s hands. “Crap, there’s always extra pieces. Just throw it out. Can’t be that important. Alright, let’s juice it up and bring this bad boy to life!”#vss365

October Twitter-Splosion

Another month of #vss365! For October I followed the mis-adventure of Aodh, a creature of the night a-prowlin’! Things didn’t go according to his plans.

OCTOBER

10/1/2019

Rain slashes against the windowpane. Hunger drives me out into my dominion. I am one with the #night, melting with shadows, treading silently upon my victims. Desire claws at my insides. I kill or I will be killed. Light shines through the glass.#vss365

10/2/2019

A shard of light stabs my eyes. It must die! The darkness is my merciful companion. Outside the window I lurk, another sense assaulted. A human singing. My blood boils. The urge to dig my claws in and #murder the cause of my pain drives me insane. Restore dark and silence.#vss365

10/3/2019

Scent mingles with water, not just rain. The aroma of dead flowers mixed with soap. I try not to sneeze. The victim must be in the shower. A shriek. “Stupid dull razor!” The scent of #blood hits my nostrils. Every muscle primes. Claws on windowpane, no turning back.#vss365

10/4/2019

Wet glass, cold to the touch. The only barrier that prevents me from my prey. Just the scent of the blood through the cracked pane is enough to tease me with the flavor of my favorite #organ. Some beasts crave the heart. I prefer the liver, the holder of a man’s sins.#vss365

10/5/2019

I savor the sins I am about to partake. A monster of varied taste, I am not particular of my victims’ transgressions. Envy, gluttony, greed, lust, pride, sloth, wrath, each tenderizes in different ways. Each takes #away a piece of humanity seasoning the soul.#vss365

10/6/2019

Curtains flutter out an open window. Easier ingress. I crawl inside the darkened room and creep across the floor, carpet muffling my steps. Light from the bathroom draws me near. Kill. Kill. Kill! A sweet voice dripping with innocence behind me, “Are you a #demon?” I turn.#vss365

10/7/2019

What is this? A tiny human, clutching a stuffed animal to her chest, stares at me. Her voice drips with #music. The fire within quells. The urge to kill dwindles. I only desire to hear her speak. “No, child,” I rasp, what am I? “I am not of Hell, but Earth.” She blinks.#vss365

10/8/2019

Frozen in place. I could not move as her scent filled my nostrils. A be-spelling #perfume that seduced me. But she was a child! Still, I lowered my head to her eye level as she smiled at me. “Are you an angel?” I shifted my shadowy wings and chuckled, “Do I look like one?”#vss365

10/9/2019

Before I knew it she reached out and her soft palm touched my muzzle. Contact, I shuddered, but not out of disgust. Something resonated. I should be crunching this child’s #bones, yet that felt wrong. I met her fearless gaze as a bond forged an unbreakable chain. “Mine.”#vss365

10/10/2019

She had not spoken, but I felt the claim. My claws would serve her, protect her with a bond as a deep as any #lovers. Where did this twisted sense of loyalty lie? The stuffed animal shifted, the gleam of a gem around its neck. Shit! How did a CHILD get that binding relic?#vss365

10/11/2019

Fearless the child approaches me still clutching her relic laden toy. I bow my head to her as hunger ravages me. Tiny plump fingers plunge into my spiky fur, their contact hot against my #skin. I would do anything for her. Even kill. She smiles all the way to eyes. Murder.#vss365

10/12/2019

She pointed to herself, “Trine.” Then her palm cupped my nose. “You…?” I swallowed, did she know? Once she knew I would be her #monster. Compelled to answer, my lips betrayed me, “Aodh.” The void within me vanished. My claws dug into the carpet. I was Trine’s to command.#vss365

10/13/2019

Trine giggled and crawled up onto my back. I could not resist her, my little black #pearl in a sea of human refuse. “Aodh, fly!” To the window I obeyed, even as the light from the bathroom grew wider, a voice called out, “Is that you? You should be in bed, Trine sweety.” #vss365

10/14/2019

My claws gripped the sill. Trine’s hand clutched my spiky fur, her heels thumped my shoulder blades. I dove out into the rain, bathed once more in soothing darkness. A voice screamed out, “Trine!” But we were gone. For better, or #worse, I was bound to obey my tiny tyrant.#vss365

10/15/2019

What a turn of events, I pondered as I soared through the stormy streets. I began the night as always, hunting #alone. Who would imagine that a child would embrace me? Who would guess that it would feel so … right? Who was this Trine? So many questions. “Hungry! Snack!”#vss365

10/16/2019

“What do you tiny humans eat?” Trine leaned to my ear, “Sweeties. Candy, cake, cookies. Cookies with #chunks of candy!” I almost vomited in my mouth. Sweetness? The only sweet I liked was innards. “Cookies! Cookies!” I had to do something. “Hush, or they’ll escape!”#vss365

10/17/2019

Trine sucked on a finger. “Escape? But cookies don’t gots legs.” I crouched down in stalking mode. “Shh! Look there in the #darkness do you see them? Crumbs. Should we follow them?” Trine bobbed her head. “Yes! Follow the dark chocolates!” My bloodthirsty tiny tyrant.#vss365

10/18/2019

The trail proved hard to follow, they were nothing but #ghost crumbs. My stomach turned at the mere thought of sweets, I would probably retch at the actual scent. What could I do? Trine demanded sustenance, I was bound to obey. To hunt that which made me violently ill.#vss365

10/19/2019

There it loomed over us. A shop that looked like it had vomited bright paint. Trine skipped to the sweet shop window. “Break it!” I shattered the pane. Trine jumped in and instantly began to #devour with savage intensity. I stepped back, besieged by … ugh, sweetness!#vss365

10/20/2019

By the time Trine toddled out the window the shop was naught but a frosting massacre, gobs of it clung to her gap-toothed smile. She shuffled through the #dirt and held out the remnants of a cookie in the shape of a racked man. I shut my nostrils from the assaulting scent.#vss365

10/21/2019

My stomach turned. Thoughts cast into #oblivion as my true hunger devoured my senses. Trembling I needed flesh, blood, organs. Not something in the mere shape of my prey. I stalked away from the broken window. “Aodh, down!” Confound it, I found myself prone to her command.#vss365

10/22/2019

“Child, I hunger.” At my words she held out the cookie. “That will not sustain me.” I flashed my fangs. “I require flesh, blood, something with spirit and a #soul.” Trine stared at the man shaped cookie, a tear rolled down her face. “Did someone hurt you?” She nodded.#vss365

10/23/2019

Fed by her earnest tears, I became #invincible, a creature of pure vengeance. “Name them!” She rubbed her eyes, “Billy.” I ground my claws into the dirt. “And for what offense has he begged for consummation?” She sobbed, “He stole my lollypop!” That was … shallow.#vss365

10/24/2019

We stood outside his house. A storm #cellar door yielded to my claws. This Billy stole something precious from my master. This lollypop truly must be a great treasure. I would retrieve it for her. Stairs creaked as I climbed toward my target, saliva flowing.#vss365

10/25/2019

The door to his room creaked open. Who was this mastermind I would devour #alive? I tugged back the covers. Billy … was a boy? Great, this one was snack-sized. I needed a meal. I pondered starting with his parents. But if he ran … I needed to find this lollypop.#vss365

10/26/2019

Billy awoke with a start and blinked at me. I growled, “You stole a great possession from my master, I have come to retrieve the lollypop.” With a shaky finger he pointed at a plastic wrapped object, bright and colorful. To my #horror her precious thing was candy.#vss365

10/27/2019

I gave a #shriek. “Candy? Her precious stolen item is candy?” Backed against the wall, I pondered my fate if I should break the binding spell. Could I resist? But if sugar should contact me, I shivered, I knew my fate. Head buried in claws I reeled at my impossible task.#vss365

10/28/2019

Against the burning through every fiber, I drew back from object I’d been compelled to retrieve. The sensation promised the #grave, but I did not care. Better to risk eternal slumber than unspeakable torment. I must find whomever gave that child a binding relic.#vss365

10/29/2019

The throb within me grew the further I tread from her request. Despite my desire for flesh, and my compelling to obey her, I found I would risk #eternal punishment for one chance, one swipe at the bastard who let this happen. “Who gifted the relic to this child?” I asked.#vss365

10/30/2019

A trail of deep violet light drew me through the alleys back to the apartment complex. #Warm sensation grew to heat as I closed in on the apartment, her apartment. Walls covered in artifacts. On the phone, a frantic man—outlined in purple. So he gave her the binding relic!#vss365

10/31/2019

A #raven perched upon the windowledge. I smiled a savage smile to my brother of the night knowing his presence not happenstance. “Finally,” saliva flowed through my teeth as I entered the open window, hunger blazed within, “let the feast begin!” I lunged, the man screamed.#vss365

OCTOBER

10/1/2019

Rain slashes against the windowpane. Hunger drives me out into my dominion. I am one with the #night, melting with shadows, treading silently upon my victims. Desire claws at my insides. I kill or I will be killed. Light shines through the glass.#vss365

10/2/2019

A shard of light stabs my eyes. It must die! The darkness is my merciful companion. Outside the window I lurk, another sense assaulted. A human singing. My blood boils. The urge to dig my claws in and #murder the cause of my pain drives me insane. Restore dark and silence.#vss365

10/3/2019

Scent mingles with water, not just rain. The aroma of dead flowers mixed with soap. I try not to sneeze. The victim must be in the shower. A shriek. “Stupid dull razor!” The scent of #blood hits my nostrils. Every muscle primes. Claws on windowpane, no turning back.#vss365

10/4/2019

Wet glass, cold to the touch. The only barrier that prevents me from my prey. Just the scent of the blood through the cracked pane is enough to tease me with the flavor of my favorite #organ. Some beasts crave the heart. I prefer the liver, the holder of a man’s sins.#vss365

10/5/2019

I savor the sins I am about to partake. A monster of varied taste, I am not particular of my victims’ transgressions. Envy, gluttony, greed, lust, pride, sloth, wrath, each tenderizes in different ways. Each takes #away a piece of humanity seasoning the soul.#vss365

10/6/2019

Curtains flutter out an open window. Easier ingress. I crawl inside the darkened room and creep across the floor, carpet muffling my steps. Light from the bathroom draws me near. Kill. Kill. Kill! A sweet voice dripping with innocence behind me, “Are you a #demon?” I turn.#vss365

10/7/2019

What is this? A tiny human, clutching a stuffed animal to her chest, stares at me. Her voice drips with #music. The fire within quells. The urge to kill dwindles. I only desire to hear her speak. “No, child,” I rasp, what am I? “I am not of Hell, but Earth.” She blinks.#vss365

10/8/2019

Frozen in place. I could not move as her scent filled my nostrils. A be-spelling #perfume that seduced me. But she was a child! Still, I lowered my head to her eye level as she smiled at me. “Are you an angel?” I shifted my shadowy wings and chuckled, “Do I look like one?”#vss365

10/9/2019

Before I knew it she reached out and her soft palm touched my muzzle. Contact, I shuddered, but not out of disgust. Something resonated. I should be crunching this child’s #bones, yet that felt wrong. I met her fearless gaze as a bond forged an unbreakable chain. “Mine.”#vss365

10/10/2019

She had not spoken, but I felt the claim. My claws would serve her, protect her with a bond as a deep as any #lovers. Where did this twisted sense of loyalty lie? The stuffed animal shifted, the gleam of a gem around its neck. Shit! How did a CHILD get that binding relic?#vss365

10/11/2019

Fearless the child approaches me still clutching her relic laden toy. I bow my head to her as hunger ravages me. Tiny plump fingers plunge into my spiky fur, their contact hot against my #skin. I would do anything for her. Even kill. She smiles all the way to eyes. Murder.#vss365

10/12/2019

She pointed to herself, “Trine.” Then her palm cupped my nose. “You…?” I swallowed, did she know? Once she knew I would be her #monster. Compelled to answer, my lips betrayed me, “Aodh.” The void within me vanished. My claws dug into the carpet. I was Trine’s to command.#vss365

10/13/2019

Trine giggled and crawled up onto my back. I could not resist her, my little black #pearl in a sea of human refuse. “Aodh, fly!” To the window I obeyed, even as the light from the bathroom grew wider, a voice called out, “Is that you? You should be in bed, Trine sweety.” #vss365

10/14/2019

My claws gripped the sill. Trine’s hand clutched my spiky fur, her heels thumped my shoulder blades. I dove out into the rain, bathed once more in soothing darkness. A voice screamed out, “Trine!” But we were gone. For better, or #worse, I was bound to obey my tiny tyrant.#vss365

10/15/2019

What a turn of events, I pondered as I soared through the stormy streets. I began the night as always, hunting #alone. Who would imagine that a child would embrace me? Who would guess that it would feel so … right? Who was this Trine? So many questions. “Hungry! Snack!”#vss365

10/16/2019

“What do you tiny humans eat?” Trine leaned to my ear, “Sweeties. Candy, cake, cookies. Cookies with #chunks of candy!” I almost vomited in my mouth. Sweetness? The only sweet I liked was innards. “Cookies! Cookies!” I had to do something. “Hush, or they’ll escape!”#vss365

10/17/2019

Trine sucked on a finger. “Escape? But cookies don’t gots legs.” I crouched down in stalking mode. “Shh! Look there in the #darkness do you see them? Crumbs. Should we follow them?” Trine bobbed her head. “Yes! Follow the dark chocolates!” My bloodthirsty tiny tyrant.#vss365

10/18/2019

The trail proved hard to follow, they were nothing but #ghost crumbs. My stomach turned at the mere thought of sweets, I would probably retch at the actual scent. What could I do? Trine demanded sustenance, I was bound to obey. To hunt that which made me violently ill.#vss365

10/19/2019

There it loomed over us. A shop that looked like it had vomited bright paint. Trine skipped to the sweet shop window. “Break it!” I shattered the pane. Trine jumped in and instantly began to #devour with savage intensity. I stepped back, besieged by … ugh, sweetness!#vss365

10/20/2019

By the time Trine toddled out the window the shop was naught but a frosting massacre, gobs of it clung to her gap-toothed smile. She shuffled through the #dirt and held out the remnants of a cookie in the shape of a racked man. I shut my nostrils from the assaulting scent.#vss365

10/21/2019

My stomach turned. Thoughts cast into #oblivion as my true hunger devoured my senses. Trembling I needed flesh, blood, organs. Not something in the mere shape of my prey. I stalked away from the broken window. “Aodh, down!” Confound it, I found myself prone to her command.#vss365

10/22/2019

“Child, I hunger.” At my words she held out the cookie. “That will not sustain me.” I flashed my fangs. “I require flesh, blood, something with spirit and a #soul.” Trine stared at the man shaped cookie, a tear rolled down her face. “Did someone hurt you?” She nodded.#vss365

10/23/2019

Fed by her earnest tears, I became #invincible, a creature of pure vengeance. “Name them!” She rubbed her eyes, “Billy.” I ground my claws into the dirt. “And for what offense has he begged for consummation?” She sobbed, “He stole my lollypop!” That was … shallow.#vss365

10/24/2019

We stood outside his house. A storm #cellar door yielded to my claws. This Billy stole something precious from my master. This lollypop truly must be a great treasure. I would retrieve it for her. Stairs creaked as I climbed toward my target, saliva flowing.#vss365

10/25/2019

The door to his room creaked open. Who was this mastermind I would devour #alive? I tugged back the covers. Billy … was a boy? Great, this one was snack-sized. I needed a meal. I pondered starting with his parents. But if he ran … I needed to find this lollypop.#vss365

10/26/2019

Billy awoke with a start and blinked at me. I growled, “You stole a great possession from my master, I have come to retrieve the lollypop.” With a shaky finger he pointed at a plastic wrapped object, bright and colorful. To my #horror her precious thing was candy.#vss365

10/27/2019

I gave a #shriek. “Candy? Her precious stolen item is candy?” Backed against the wall, I pondered my fate if I should break the binding spell. Could I resist? But if sugar should contact me, I shivered, I knew my fate. Head buried in claws I reeled at my impossible task.#vss365

10/28/2019

Against the burning through every fiber, I drew back from object I’d been compelled to retrieve. The sensation promised the #grave, but I did not care. Better to risk eternal slumber than unspeakable torment. I must find whomever gave that child a binding relic.#vss365

10/29/2019

The throb within me grew the further I tread from her request. Despite my desire for flesh, and my compelling to obey her, I found I would risk #eternal punishment for one chance, one swipe at the bastard who let this happen. “Who gifted the relic to this child?” I asked.#vss365

10/30/2019

A trail of deep violet light drew me through the alleys back to the apartment complex. #Warm sensation grew to heat as I closed in on the apartment, her apartment. Walls covered in artifacts. On the phone, a frantic man—outlined in purple. So he gave her the binding relic!#vss365

10/31/2019

A #raven perched upon the windowledge. I smiled a savage smile to my brother of the night knowing his presence not happenstance. “Finally,” saliva flowed through my teeth as I entered the open window, hunger blazed within, “let the feast begin!” I lunged, the man screamed.#vss365

Halloween Reprise: Once Beatin’, Twice Die

Once Beatin’, Twice Die

Reposted twisted humor story in the spirit of the season of tricks and treats. This tale was inspired by a prompt with a 36 hour writing frame: Pooky and the Pumpkin Parlor. My story triggered a need for the creation of second place, previously only the top running story was to be awarded but they liked my tale so much and wanted to publish it online. Enjoy this delicious devilry …

quantumkitty

I clutched my pumpkin to my chest. Every jostle of the cardboard box I rode in threatened to dislodge my precious prize.

My pumpkin. No one could take it from me. I flexed my claws into the fleshy rind. The juice wicked into my fur. I purred.

The floor of my box dropped. I landed hard and rolled to the side with a hiss. A moment later her face appeared over the edge of the box. A face that looked like a frog had mated with a gourd. Madame Euphrasia.

I spat at her and flexed my claws into the pumpkin.

“Pooky, are you sure you want to go through with this?” She offered me a tight-lipped smile. “Come on now, it was a terribly long walk down here, to the Pumpkin Parlor. But I promise to forgive you.”

“Rowwwrrr!”

“Sweetie.”

I hugged my pumpkin tighter.

Madame Euphrasia reached up and adjusted her pointy hat. “Have it your way you little—”

My hackles rose. I fixed her with a glare.

“—darling.” She softened her expression.

My pumpkin. So soft and squelchy in my claws. Mmm.

The box rocked to the side and I tumbled onto the rust-tinted counter of the Pumpkin Parlor. Jack’o’lanterns hung from the ceiling and cast a warm glow over the spirits floating to the tables delivering alcohol. The entire room glowed in shades of unbroken orange. Well, all save the patrons. The collective monstrosities seated all around were exempt from the color code. A pack of werewolves dressed in black leather perched on stools further down the counter devouring a rack of lamb. In the corner booth a stitched man resembling a burly rag doll slouched with a daisy in his hand. A cappuccino steamed before him.

Even though I had not been here long, I remembered this place. I craned my head to see if I could find that nice wooden box I had once slept in.

A hand slammed the counter. Madame Euphrasia leaned over and glared at the swinging door. “Momordica! Momordica, you mountebank. This is your damn place. I know you are back there. Get your wiley ass out here right now!”

I scaled my pumpkin and curled around the coiled stem. The little curly twigs sproing when I bat them with a paw. I liked that.

“Momordica. Come out before I go back there and drag you out. We need to talk about that sh—“

I hissed and skewered the pumpkin with all ten claws.

She gulped. “—sweet transaction we had the other day.”

Why did that crazy old coot have to raise her voice so much? Never, in all my nine-lives had I known such an unappreciative human.

The door squealed open and Momordica sauntered in, bedecked in shades of ochre. Even his top hat was a rich shade as he flicked it off his head with a bow. “Madame Euphrasia. Pleasant to see you this eve. How may I assist one of my finest patrons?”

Several of the customers narrowed their eyes before returning to their meals.

I resumed playing with the curlicues. Twang. Twang. The hollow gourd responded with a thump. Thump. Thump.

“There is a problem with Pooky. It must be remedied immediately and with great care.”

Momordica glanced down at me and widened his golden eyes. “The darling kitten I sold you just a fortnight ago? He looks perfectly healthy. And I assure you that black cats are all the rage as witch’s familiars. Give him a bit more time. He’ll grow on you.”

She balled her fists and gave me a sideways glance. A bead of sweat rolled down her knobby brow. “I am running out of time. The little bea—creature won’t obey. This is serious, Momordica.”

Obey, schmobey. It’s not like she asked nicely. I rubbed my cheek against the stem of the pumpkin and purred. The hollow reverberated, thump, thump, thump. I wanted to open it. But it was too soon. Too soon to look see.

“Madame Euphrasia, Pooky is just a sweet little kitten. What harm could he manage aside from stealing a ball of yarn?”

“You see that pumpkin?” She smiled like someone pulled her lips apart with fish hooks. “He won’t give it back.”

“A pumpkin?” He burst into laughter. “A pumpkin? I have a whole field of pumpkins. What kind do you wish? Let Pooky keep that one.”

“You don’t understand.”

Light flickered through a glass of whiskey on the counter. Pretty. Must become mine. I slid down the side of the pumpkin and kept my tail brushing against it. With a paw I ticked the side of the glass.

It vanished. But the liquid remained. An amber puddle spread over the wood and dampened Momordica’s gloved fingers.

Where the glass was now was it half empty? Was it half full? Was there even a glass in the first place? If I looked I would know and that would spoil everything. Ohh, my tail is moving. Must get the tail.

He leaned back. “Remarkable!”

“You see? This is no normal cat.”

“Well, of course he isn’t. He’s a witch’s familiar now.”

“But I didn’t teach him that damn trick. You need to understand what he’s stolen.”

I leapt back onto the pumpkin and licked my paws taking care to get between each claw. She flinched as I eyed her.

Momordica leaned forward.

“He’s stolen my heart.”

He laughed so hard he ceased to breath for a moment. “Aww, now that’s so sweet. He’s not a bad kitty. He’s a miracle worker. Who would’ve known you even had a heart?”

“It’s not funny!” She tore open the first few buttons on her dress collar to reveal my claw marks on her flesh. “I mean he literally stole the damn organ!”

I arched my back and growled deep in my throat.

“The sweet, darling animal! I mean, he cares so much … but … but … I need it back. Momordica, I think he has it in the pumpkin. I have no idea how he did it. Where did you find him?” Her face grew pale as a saucer of milk.

Mmm, milk.

He took a few steps back eyeing me. I sunk my claws into the flesh of the pumpkin. My pumpkin. Thump thump, thump thump.

“I found him in a box in the graveyard. Poor thing was half alive, half dead. I carried him here not having any idea if when I opened the box he’d still be here.”

Thump thump. The beat in the pumpkin stuttered. Oh dear. Thump thump … thump … THUD.

She dropped to the floor.

I sighed and abandoned the pumpkin on the counter. No point in looking now. I already knew the answer.

Momordica grabbed it and smashed it open with his fist. Crimson mingled with orange pulp, the witch’s heart cradled in the core. Apparently my touch can only sustain an organ for so long. Who knew.

He looked at me. I glared back before raising a paw to groom off the pumpkin pulp.

“Who would’ve known! Tell me, Pooky, why did you do that?”

Curiosity. I leapt back into the box and pulled the flaps closed. Memories of a past half-life tumbled back to me. The inside of a box, and the musings of a human named Schrodinger.


Happy Halloween! Mwahahaha!

Shadow of Doubt

Shadow of Doubt

samhainsidhewyvern

I reached out and caught the leaf drifting down from the branches. A true masterpiece on a once living canvas. Red tips blazed at the end of the brilliant yellow center. The shrill cry of a sidh-wyvern caught my ear. I glanced up into the shivering autumn leaves and spied her unusual markings.

“What are you looking at, Ealaidh?” Seirm, my bard-in-training charge, flicked his stoat ears in the direction I was gazing.

I ruffled his headfur. “Tis the turning of summer to autumn. Surely you know about the lords of the seasons.”

He chuckled and flared out his short tail. “Of course I know the myth.”

“Myth?” Raising an eyebrow I cocked my head. “Surely you mean myths?”

He stared at me blankly.

“By the multitude of gods, what lazy tailed bard taught you? Oh never mind, it doesn’t matter. Sit. Learn as you should have been taught.” We settled on a fallen log dappled with lichen. The earthy scent filled my nostrils, that damp odor of deceased plants returning to the dirt that gave rise to it. Cycles.

“Seirm, my young bard—”

“I’m seventy-three.”

“My young bard.” I eyed him back into silence. “The seasons did not always turn. Ages ago, not long after the first tribes began the tell of time through Taliesin’s gift of music, Cernunnos turned to Io’s children. The earth had grown weary of supporting constant abundance. So in his great wisdom Cernunnos selected four special sidh-wyverns and gifted them with the power over the weather.”

“Yes. Everyone has heard the legends. But how can something so tiny effect the whole climate? They’re the size of hawks, that’s ridiculous.”

“You are not alone in thinking so. When first they were gifted, one of them suffered greatly under the burden of her task, even into the second year.”

The summer sun cast Muthadh’s shadow long as she stretched her scalloped wings over the hillside amongst the ghosts of shivering leaves. The hawk-sized sidh-wyvern let her translucent back frill tuck in tight as she wrapped her tail around her. Purple and orange scales hardly hid her among the ash tree’s bright green. She closed her eyes and shuddered.

“We are dragon-kin.” She swallowed, hugging the swaying branch with her clawed wings. “What a shameful jest. What am I compared to my larger cousins? A wisp to be blown on the wind?”

A distant cry shattered the air, Muthadh held her breath and spread out her wings prepared to bolt. But for what? She knew that boastful shriek, as did any who roamed the wood in the grip of summer. Luisreadh, the sidh-wyvern whose magic reigned over the season of prosperity. It was his breath that opened the flowers faces to the sun. The current of his wings that spread their pollen through the glades. His cry that summoned the heat of the blazing sun down on the earth.

Muthadh had woken. Luisreadh’s season … was supposed to be ending. Her claws gripped the branch as her eyes locked on her silhouette spilling on the ground. Thin, wiry, substanceless. She whimpered at her shadow of doubt. Green leaves buffeted her. Leaves that were her task to paint as vibrantly as Luisreadh painted the flowers. A warm breeze blew through the wood. Winds that were her task to whip into gales and strip the growth away. The sun winked through the canopy. The same sun it was her task to pull lower into the sky to let land to rest, if she could but summon the courage.

Memories of last year’s attempt paralyzed her. Last year … in what was to be the first turn of the seasons. She bowed her head and whimpered at her failure.

Autumn’s first day was today … and its bringer clung to the branch like a stubborn leaf. When she had opened her eyes on this day and seen the beauty Luisreadh had spread throughout the land, a lump grew in her throat. How could she wilt his beloved blooms? How could she rot this vibrant land? How could she possibly outshine the splendor of the sidh-wyvern of summer?

She spied him winging into the trees, Luisreadh swept through the branches screeching out his pride at his own work. His bright green scales splotched with all the colors of the blooms. Bright rows of spikes lined his back as he undulated through his domain. The spark in his eye lanced Muthadh’s heart. He wasn’t ready to relinquish. For the second time, autumn could not possibly come.

Her shadow shivered up from below, cast over Luisreadh’s masterworks. The shadow mocked her, she swore she saw it narrowing its eyes and laughing up at her. Coward! It whispered. Uninspired fool. Yours is the season of death. Who would ever embrace you? It’s no wonder that no one even missed your failed contribution last year. Crawl into a tree hollow and cry like again! It’s all that is left to you.

She tucked her head beneath a wing and stifled a sob. The gleam of bright blue sparked before her. She opened her eyes to gaze upon on will-o-wisp floating in the folds of her wing. The morpheous sprite floated down to the tree limb, brushing against the bark. “Listen …”

Muthadh bent down and pressed her ear close to the limb.

“Listen …” The wisp evaporated.

weary … rest … The limbs spoke to her in creaks and groans.

She snapped up her head. “You … you would suffer if I did not take over for Luisreadh?”

weary …

“But, you don’t understand. I would be killing you.”

sleep, not death … through winter … spring reawakens … without rest—as if to show her a leaf crisped on the twig and fell to the ground.

“Have you told Luisreadh?”

yes … he bids us to sprout eternal … we are not the evergreen …

Her frill crept up to full, flowing in the breeze between her spines. She watched the reigner of summer soaring on his breeze, oblivious to the cries echoing in the wood. He remained ignorant to the needs of the land. A snarl parted her scaly muzzle. Turning to the shadow of her doubt on the ground she glared hard at it. “Your pointless weight will not ground me. I am the reigner of autumn! This season does not come without my bidding. It is time.” She stroked the tree limb with her wing. “The land needs sleep.”

Throwing her head back, Muthadh released her harsh rasp. Her wings spread and slammed down against the warm current. A cold, crisp bite followed and enveloped her in a spinning frenzy. The skies overhead darkened, leaden with heavy rain clouds as a thunderclap echoed through the valley.

“Luisreadh! Summer has come to a close, the harbinger of autumn has awakened. Bow down and surrender.” She hovered above the tree grove, rain pelting her scales.

A brightly mottled arrow of sidh-wyvern flesh shot up from the canopy. Luisreadh led with his talons and a piercing scream. “I am not finished! I will never fall to you!”

“Spirited words.” She snapped her wing and rose out of his way. Enthusiastic as always, Luisreadh overshot and struggled to pull around and face her. “You know this is how it must be. The land calls to you, but you ignore it. Heed its cries, let it rest.”

Hotheaded Luisreadh bared his fangs. “You challenge me for the mantle? I would have thought last year when I beat you into submission you would have learned. You are not worthy!”

She cringed, the scar on her wing still tugged. But the pain had another effect. She wouldn’t let him win again. Autumn must come, even if he refused to heed the cry of the land. Rising toward him in the growing gale littered with shredding leaves she beat her wings, arching her talons. The chill in the air faded his colors. Each beat of his wings lost power as she stole the mantle from him.

His face lined with shock a moment before she collided with him, entangling him with her talons. He struggled, only to blink up at her. Muthadh carried him lower into the canopy, heading toward his favorite oak tree. “What … what are you doing?” His voice was barely a whisper in her gale.

“Laying you to rest for the turn of the seasons.” She gently nestled him into the crook of the tree, nudging his tail in.

The defeated summer sidh-wyvern’s eyes already were closing where he would sleep three seasons through. “But … why … I beat you into the hillside last year … left you broken.”

She breathed onto the oak leaves and they turned a brilliant array of reds and golds. “I already beat one opponent today. What need have I to prove to another?” A ray of sunlight broke through the clouds casting Muthadh’s shadow against the oak tree. Luisreadh’s eyes blinked back open as the shadow cringed.

Muthadh spread her wings and shot into the heavens, riding the rising gale with each pulse. Beneath her the world turned from one brilliant palette of colors to another of true beauty. The beautiful palette of change as autumn fell upon the land for the first time.

Out of the canopy Muthadh soared, wreathed in will-o-wisps.

Seirm jolted as the sidh-wyvern shot in a tight spiral over our heads and up into the leaden skies.

Placing a paw on his shoulder, I chuckled. “First time you’ve seen a myth, lad? Been around the bard camp too long. Welcome to the real world where there are creatures who truly command their surroundings. Take care to mind them. Especially the harbinger that prepares the earth for the winter sleep … she bares death on her wings.”